Be Worthy

One of my closest friends said to me recently, “Espero que sepas que la mayoría de la gente no te merece.”

This reminder was an act of love and I love the way she loves me.

It is true.

Most people are not worthy of me.

When I am with you, I am wholly present with you.

I am not thinking of the grocery list, task list, or another lover.

When we are together, I am with you.

I come to you knowing my needs, standards, and boundaries.

Knowing what a yes and a no feel like in my body.

Knowing how to give you the gift of my no.

Knowing what pleasure is for me and how to explain it to you.

I show up living in integrity.

Demonstrating honesty

Knowing myself, knowing what I want from you

What I am willing to give

And what capacity I have

The divine temple that is my body

Decorated in art in an expression of self love

Caressed with oils slowly and intentionally

Exuding a smell that can only be described as a drug.

This is how I show up.

You are distracted with the happenings of your day and what needs to happen next or tomorrow.

I require presence.

You have no concept of what rules and boundaries actually are and you are often offended when I hold mine in truth.

I need stability.

You receive no as rejection.

I need someone who listens to understand instead of listening to respond.

You think being late, cancelling, and rescheduling are all just part of life.

Absolutely not. They are a display of disrespect to us both.

You offer texts asking about my day and telling me about yours.

I cannot feel this in my body. This is a transaction for my brain and I need more.

Then you wonder why I don’t make time for you.

You are not worthy.